Do you like hot weather? It’s been pretty hot lately, & I do not like it. I’d like it to stay cool every day! You may have an emotional temperature that runs hot, & keeping your cool is a daily struggle.
We already know how physically destructive anger can be. Doctors have warned for years that exploding over trivial events can cause high blood pressure, headaches, & ulcers. It can hurt your heart as much as smoking, & literally kill you! Anger turned inward – harboring it or obsessing over a stressful incident or person – can lead to depression & bitterness.
So some take out their anger on others instead – shouting, screaming, swearing, slamming doors, throwing objects, punching walls, or even hitting people. Whether you’re venting it or repressing it, anger can be harmful to your health & relationships. It can be overwhelming & cruel (Prov. 27:4). “Danger” & “anger” are separated by only one letter. If you’re violent or abusive, you have to stop immediately (Ps. 37:8, Col. 3:8, Titus 1:7). If you need help stopping, seek it out. There can never be an excuse for such behavior. If you’re in a dangerous situation with such a person, don’t remain in it. Seek help if you need it.
Anger is also dangerous spiritually because it can lead to sin. Scriptrue doesn’t condemn the emotion of anger. You can’t help feeling emotions. The problem comes when we let those emotions control us & our behaviors. God Himself gets angry! Our modern culture loves the idea that “God is love” (1 John 4:8) as if that’s all He is. They’re either unaware or reject that God is also a “consuming fire” (Heb. 12:29). But differences usually can be observed between His & ours. It’s His holy nature’s rightful response to evil. His anger is purposeful & controlled. But human anger is often petty & selfish. It can reflect a malevolent desire to hurt, & become uncontrolled. That’s why He tells us, “Be angry and do not sin…” (Eph. 4:26).
The anger that Jesus exhibited was righteous indignation, such as when He drove the moneychangers from the Temple (Matt. 21:12-13). Some people think Jesus was sinning because He lost His temper & hurt people. But Scripture doesn’t say that He hurt anyone, nor that He lost His temper. He was confronting egregious sin committed in the name of God. Contrast that with when He was personally insulted, spat upon, punched, whipped, & nailed to the cross. He showed no anger. Instead, He prayed for God to show mercy.
But our anger is usually the opposite. We get angry over personal offenses while ignoring injustice & iniquity. But even if we get angry over the right things – wars, murders, rape, abortion, abusing children, or taking advantage of the vulnerable – we still control that emotion because “the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God” (James 1:20).
We’re prone to evil thoughts when we let anger have control. That’s why we’re told to get rid of anger quickly: “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger” (Eph. 4:26). What began as righteous anger can be nursed into resentment & hatred. It can grow malignant & be warped into something that gives the devil an opportunity to tempt us (Eph. 4:27).
So to prevent that from happening, we need to learn to temper our tempers & restrain our own wrath. It begins with recognizing that I am responsible for my actions. I can’t excuse angry behaviors by claiming, “That’s just the way I am.” Nor can I blame someone else by saying, “See what you made me do! You make me so mad!” Nobody can MAKE you angry or respond in an angry way. You are always in charge of your emotions & words. How do we know? Because if you’re driving along in your car, hollering at your spouse, & a police officer pulls you over–how do you respond? You immediately get it under control & turn on the charm switch, right?
You can also ask God to help you. He won’t take away all the things that are conducive to anger, but He produces the fruit of the Spirit when you’re yielded – peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, & self-control. God can give you the inner calm & strength to put that anger away so that you’re not giving in to the opposite works of the flesh – enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, dissensions, divisions, & envy (Gal. 5:20-23).
Sometimes the best thing you can do about anger is nothing. Just let it go, & half the time it turns out to be only a fleeting response to an unimportant matter. Take the high road – overlook it & let it roll off you (Prov. 19:11). The other half of the time, keeping quiet gives you time to cool down & decide whether the matter is worth dealing with & discussing. That’s why wisdom is to be “slow to anger” (Ecc. 7:9, James 1:19).
If you must confront the source of anger to resolve the issue, do it calmly. Attack the issue, not the person. Be ready to offer forgiveness when the person repents. (Eph. 4:32, Luke 17:3-4). And if you play any role in the problem, apologize (Matt. 5:23-24). If the person doesn’t repent, still refuse to let that person have power over you. Release your anger to God, knowing that vengeance belongs to Him (Rom. 12:9). Otherwise, you’re only harming yourself.