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Unleavened Brett

Brett’s Friday Blog Post

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What kills marriages & 3 ways to improve your family’s whole tone

Four communication behaviors were identified as marriage killers by Dr. John Gottman after studying 2,000 married couples. If any of them are repeatedly occurring, it’s a major red flag resulting in resentment & bitterness. You’re almost guaranteed a divorce. Are you guilty of any of these? Probably all 4 of them at some points…but is it an ongoing pattern? 

Criticism. Are you constantly critical of your spouse, tearing him/her down? Or are you able to gently correct behavior instead of assassinating character? Are you able to tell him/her how their behavior makes you feel instead of labeling them with negative put-downs & name-calling? 

Contempt. Does your criticism go even further by turning into contempt? Do you show disrespect & disgust by your mocking words, hostile “humor” & sneering tone of voice? Or are you instead able to look for good in your partner & show patience & express appreciation for what’s good?

Defensiveness. Do you get into arguments where you avoid accountability & shift the blame to counterattack? Or are you able to accept responsibility that you may be part of the problem? Can you humbly demonstrate a willingness to see your part in the problem?

Stonewalling. Do you shut down communication as a form of manipulation, giving the silent treatment & cold shoulder? Are you rolling your eyes & shrugging off your mate’s concerns? Or are you able to engage & express your feelings so you can work things out? 

Like we encouraged you in last Sunday’s message, practice the basic spiritual habits that build a Christ-centered home–daily prayer with or at least for one another; weekly worship together in church; read & follow Scripture! God’s Word offers prescriptions for living together in harmony & for right attitudes that shield against destructive & addictive behaviors. Surround yourself with godly people to reinforce your marriage-get in a group. Get counseling if you think it will help-just make sure it aligns with God’s Word. Go to OnlyGodCanHelp.com to find recommendations. Read some helpful Christian books on marriage. Watch some videos on RightNow Media.  

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Confidentiality is crucial to the healing and recovery process. For participants to feel comfortable opening up and being honest, they have to feel confident that their information will not be discussed outside of Thrive groups. This is an absolute requirement!
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Some examples would be leading small breakout groups for specific struggle areas, worship, setup/teardown/cleanup, follow up calls, etc.

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Birth through 2 years

Idea 1

Begin praying for your little one now! Whether you’re feeding or rocking your child to sleep, start praying for them from their head to their toes!
Head to Toe Prayer:

Idea 2

Pray scripture over your child! Here’s an example: (Psalm 23:6) May goodness and mercy follow (insert child’s name) all the days of their life and may (insert child’s name) dwell in the house of the Lord forever!

Idea 3

Begin a daily prayer journal. Each day, write a small prayer for your child. When they are older, they will be able to look back and see all the prayers you have prayed over them through the years!