Christians hold countercultural views, which means we can be unfairly criticized for being hateful & judgmental just for disagreeing with popular values. Though Scriptural truth will be offensive, we shouldn’t be offensive in the way we share it. Christians should be known as the most gracious people around. But being gracious doesn’t necessarily mean being inoffensively “nice” for fear of being labeled hateful or intolerant. We stand for what’s right, even when it’s not popular.
Everyone judges certain behaviors as wrong–it depends on what your basis is for making those judgments. Apart from God’s revealed truth, morality becomes subjective & relativistic–what’s wrong today may be judged right tomorrow, & vice versa. So when we say there is absolute truth, it paints us as judgmental. When we question or point out someone’s immorality based on God’s standards in Scripture, we can be regarded as mean-spirited.
Tolerance used to mean accepting that people have the right to their own beliefs. But it’s come to mean accepting that those other beliefs are true or approving of their behaviors. Since that’s something we cannot do, we may be labeled as haters, bigots & bullies to shame & intimidate us into silence. Discredit the person, discredit the argument, right? But disagreement is not hate speech. While the world has redefined “love” to mean tolerance of sinful behavior & refusal to expose or rebuke false teaching, truth is more important than tolerance (Is. 5:20, Rom. 1:18).
The biblical warnings about “not judging” are quoted incessantly by Christians and non-Christians alike. They may not care about the rest of the Bible, but they like that part. But everyone makes judgments–it’s impossible not to. It’s absolutely necessary to judge what’s good & bad, right & wrong. What we’re called to avoid is judging wrongly. Jesus said, “Stop judging by mere appearances, but instead judge correctly” (John 7:24). God gave us the Bible, in large part, to shape our judgment.
If a man commits adultery, he’s an adulterer. That’s not an evaluation of his soul, but a true & accurate judgment of his behavior. If a woman steals, she’s a thief. If a person of one gender claims to be the opposite gender, that person is a self-deceived liar, & no one should feel compelled to support that lie. Ironically, when people accuse us of being judgmental, they themselves are being judgmental. Any time you start a sentence with “You shouldn’t,” whatever comes next will be a judgment of some kind. Some of the most self-proclaimed “tolerant” & “loving” people actually behave the most intolerantly & hatefully.
But we’re not to have a judgmental, holier-than-thou spirit. We’re not to take God’s place in condemning others. We check our own motives & hearts for any unrecognized planks in our eyes before pointing out the log in others’ eyes (Matt. 7:1-5). Jesus wasn’t always “nice”–He spoke hard truths, but in compassionate ways. He spoke more harshly to the Pharisees who claimed to be close to God than to everyday sinful people who were far from God.
Jesus once stopped a bloodthirsty mob from stoning a woman to death for adultery (John 8:2-11). They were actually testing Jesus to see if He would be nice or condemning. Either way, they figured they had him in a self-own, no-win situation. He said, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.“ He wasn’t telling everyone to be cool with immorality. He was pointing out hypocrisy. So he forgave the woman, but also told her, “Go now and leave your life of sin.”
Jesus called the religious hypocrites “snakes.” He formed a whip & drove money changers out of the temple, calling them thieves! Why? Because they were the ones who should know better. Those claiming to be God’s people are expected to act like it. But when people in the world act worldly, what else would you expect? Our role as Christians is not to judge them or reform their behaviors but to call them to receive Christ. The promise is that when a person repents & is baptized, then they receive both forgiveness & the gift of the Holy Spirit who then begins internally to change their behaviors with a new supernatural power they didn’t have before (Acts 2:38).
We’re not called to judge those outside the Church, but to judge those inside in order to bring fellow believers to repentance when in the wrong (1 Cor. 5:9-13). We’re called to practice tough love when needed because we’re held accountable for living Christ-honoring lives (Matt. 18:15-17).
In the end, it’s foolish to expect tolerance from others toward our Christian beliefs, even as they demand tolerance for their own. Jesus told us to expect rejection & derision for following Him & His truth (Luke 6:22, John 15:18, John 7:7). We understand that such people really have a problem with Him, not us. So we don’t view them as enemies; we seek to free them from the enemy’s grip.
We shouldn’t let ourselves be criticized into silence, provoked into shouting matches, or bullied into pseudo-tolerance. We stand solidly in what we know to be true, presenting our views & sharing our faith calmly & patiently, always taking the high road. We keep speaking the truth in love (Eph. 4:15). The most loving thing we can do is point people to Jesus who is the way, the truth, & the life (John 14:6).